Professional Hitman (f/m/d)
Veröffentlicht am 31/10/2024
PUMPKIN*LABS
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Do you excel in the art of making things disappear? Are you the kind of person who knows how to get a job done without leaving a trace? Then look no further!
We’re seeking a Hitman to join our elite team!
Key Responsibilities:
- Handle situations with permanent solutions
- Create sudden and mysterious disappearances
- Ensure minimal noise and zero traces
- Travel to eerie locations (graveyards, abandoned warehouses, dark alleys—wherever the night takes you!)
- Take care of difficult clients who simply won’t leave (don’t worry, they won’t complain once you’re done 😉)
Qualifications:
- Must love the dark
- Strong ability to blend into shadows and vanish without a sound
- A degree in discreet disposal or equivalent experience in vanishing acts
- A degree in marksmanship
- Dexterity with creative tools (sharp objects, poisons, and unconventional solutions—be resourceful!)
- Must have a thick skin, both literally and metaphorically. Creepy encounters come with the territory!
- Ability to work in silence (because… well, you know why)
Perks:
- Flexible hours: nights, full moons, and foggy evenings preferred
- Travel opportunities: visit mysterious and secretive locations worldwide
- No performance reviews: because… well, who’s gonna tell? 😉
- Competitive ghostly pay (we’ll settle that under the table)
- Halloween-themed bonuses: extra rewards if you work on spooky nights
- A frightfully fun work environment that embraces the shadows
If you think you’re the one to take on this challenge and deliver swift, silent, and deadly results, apply today! 👻
Remember… we’re watching. So make your move.
Send us your spookiest applications, and the best one will be highlighted on our socials! Beware, you have until November 4th to make us shiver! 👻🎃
