Forensic Pathologist (f/m/d)
Veröffentlicht am 31/10/2024
PUMPKIN*LABS
- Luxembourg-Ville
- Gesundheitswesen / Pflege / Sozialarbeit
- Zwischen 80k und 100k € / Jahr
Arbeitszeit
Vertragsart
Bildungsniveau
Do you have a passion for solving mysteries that go beyond the grave? Do you thrive in the eerie calm of a morgue and have an eye for discovering what the dead won’t tell you? If yes, we’re dying to meet you! 💀
We are on the hunt for a Forensic Pathologist to join our team of crime-solving scientists!
Key Responsibilities:
- Perform autopsies on the recently departed to uncover their final mysteries (murder, accident, or zombie attack— you’ll figure it out)
- Analyse creepy crime scenes, where things go bump in the night and leave behind strange clues
- Work closely with detectives to crack the case and speak for the dead 👻
- Use state-of-the-art ghoulish gadgets and body-part microscopes to get to the root cause
- Write chillingly detailed reports (don’t worry, the dead won’t correct you)
Qualifications:
- Doctorate in Forensic Pathology or related creepy science
- Comfortable working with dead bodies—preferably with cool hands and a strong stomach
- Strong detective instincts to investigate mysterious deaths
- Skilled with scalpels, saws, and, let’s face it, the occasional bone saw
- Calm under pressure, even if things start getting weird in the lab 👀
- Ability to deliver bad news with a creepy calmness and dark humour
Perks of the Job:
- Graveyard shift options
- Unlimited supply of gloves
- Dark humour-friendly work environment
- Solving unsolvable mysteries and getting to play detective of the dead
- Exclusive Halloween parties with the best costume competition (extra points for coming as a victim of your own autopsy!)
- Job security—as long as there are mysteries, there’ll be work!
If you’re ready to unearth the truth and unlock the secrets of the dead, we want YOU on our team. Apply today and remember… the dead can’t wait! 💀
Warning: no vampires, werewolves, or other undead applicants, please—we’ve had issues before.
Send us your spookiest applications, and the best one will be highlighted on our socials! Beware, you have until November 4th to make us shiver! 👻🎃
